The Tragedy of Timmy

My wife (64) and I (60) have agreed recently to be foster-parents for a young man, Timmy, age 2. Timmy was allegedly (it hasn't been proven in court yet) thrown head-first into a chair by his mother's boyfriend a couple of month ago, and was taken to the emergency room because he'd stopped breathing. Examinations at the time showed some brain damage, and bleeding behind his eyes. The boyfriend's story has changed a couple of times, but none of what he says contradicts the fact that Timmy's life was gravely endangered by physical child abuse. In the meantime, the mother lost custody of Timmy (supposedly temporarily, until she can receive some treatment herself, including parenting classes), and he was placed in foster-care. He was supposed to be placed with his fraternal grandfather, but that didn't work. We were next in line.

Why us? First, Timmy and his mother lived with us for almost six months when his mother got kicked out of an apartment she shared with another single mom. Secondly, Jean and I have been trained as therepeutic foster-parents by two different agencies, and have a 32-year old adopted son who is also brain-damaged. We know the signs, and what can be done to help.

Timmy's been with us for almost two weeks now, and we're beginning to see some subtle differences in his behavior - mostly positive signs that he's overcoming both the trauma of the injury, and the fear of the abusive behavior. He still has some neurological indications that he hasn't comletely recovered from his brain injuries, but he's doing much better.

Being a parent of a 2-year-old is fun at 20, nice at 30, possible at 40, and uncomfortable at 50. At 60, it's just plain crazy - unless it's for something like this. We'll survive, and Timmy will grow and recover in a safe, pleasant environment. Timmy takes a lot of time and energy, leaving less for all the other things we're doing, but we'll manage - God and Social Services willing!

I'll try to post updates from time to time - if I have the time to do it!